Week 2 - Women's Amazing Bodies and more specifically their private parts
A woman's vagina can provide her with both extreme pleasure and pain. Such a versatile organ that is still thought to be quite a mystery due to the male body being considered "normal" and therefore studied much more. Since the discovery of the clitoris in the mid 15th century there was still a belief that women's vaginas were used for childbirth only and that sexual pleasure was only for men. The 2011 movie, Hysteria, sheds light on this idea with a comedic twist. The movie is set in 1880 and is about the invention of the vibrator. Basically, Dr Dalrymple's job is to relieve female frustrations with pelvic stimulation.
=
=
The movie title refers to the previous medical diagnosis of "female hysteria" which basically meant that women were going crazy, some women were locked away in mental asylum's for this when basically it could be deemed that they were just sexually deprived... The idea of massaging the pelvis was to release the inner demons that were causing the women to have any list of symptoms that medical professionals considered not normal (this included anything from irritability to being excited.) Obviously this was causing women to have orgasms but these were not recognised as this yet and were referred to as "paroxysmal convulsions." Isn't it hilarious to think women were paying a Doctor to give them an orgasm!? In the end the Doctor gets carpel tunnel in his wrist from stimulating women all day which leads to the invention of a power operated device to get the job done a.k.a the vibrator is born!
Week 3- Women in Advertisements and Media and the pressure to be flawless... and pore less.
The “ideal” female body that is portrayed in the media is unattainable, not to mention, unrealistic and dangerous!
There is so much pressure for women to be perfect now that it has lead to an extreme prevalence of body dissatisfaction as well as eating disorders associated with not feeling thin enough. This pressure also applies to men to be burly and ripped but for women it is so much more.
What is considered beautiful has changed so much over the years, originally being curvy with no makeup and natural hair was seen in advertisements. Also eyebrows were just left as is, not drawn in or manicured in any way. Now to be “beautiful” we are expected to have long shiny hair (that is always styled), perfectly manicured nails, huge (usually fake) boobs, a flat stomach, toned legs and arms, soft tanned skin, no hair ANYWHERE, white teeth, perfect eyebrows, full (usually fake) lips, long (usually fake) lashes, no wrinkles, and a pore less complexion. How is one ever to achieve this goal of having no pores!?
To reach such a level of perfection we would have to spend thousands of money on cosmetic surgery and even then, there would be features that still needed work because all the pictures we see in magazines and advertisements are so heavily edited that the women are basically unrecognisable. The link below shows an example of how a model (who is already beautiful) is made to look thinner, taller, with longer hair and airbrushed skin.
Not only do women feel this pressure right through adolescence and there 20’s, they are also expected to “pop straight back” after having kids. In reality, this requires months of intense training and even then, the skin is not as tight as it once was…because it has been stretched to grow another human under!
Week 4- Having a Baby (Expectation vs Reality)
Unfortunately for some new Mums, having a baby is the biggest culture shock in the world. This is especially the case when the media or even their friends and family portray this new stage in life as “all fun and games” and “smooth sailing.”
I started working as a Nanny 18 months ago and I feel like it has been the most challenging job of life so far but the best thing ever to prepare me for my own children. I was not prepared for constant crying and up until the age of 2 you rarely know why said child is upset. I can now share with other Mum’s the idea of never doing anything in private, I have 2 little boys who sit front row seat when I go to the toilet. There is no such thing as drinking a hot cup of coffee or eating a hot meal. Motherhood, or in my case “Nanny-hood,” is rewarding and oh god do I love those kids but it is by no means easy. I really don’t think stay at home Mum’s get enough credit for what they do!
I love this picture of dressing a baby to be resemblant of wrestling a crocodile! Even once you have successfully completed the act of dressing, this outfit gets soiled within 10 minutes of is later found floating in the toilet with a naked toddler on the loose. No task can be done quickly and if you want to leave the house you better start getting ready hours in advance and expect every hiccup along the way! Also give up on ever looking well presented with perfect makeup and clean clothes…
Some Mum’s are lucky and have children who sleep in their own bed through the night from early on. Baby Sam, who I look after is 18 months old and still does not sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. His Mum has resorted to sleeping in a single bed with him and having the same broken sleep as he does because although she expected him to sleep in his own bed, this was just not the reality and sometimes you just do what you must to survive. Sometimes his brother, Henry, ends up in the bed too. Three in the bed is quite the squishy puzzle! At the end of the day, of course having kids is worth it, but I think there are many times that your patience and sanity are tested. I like to think of it as the best way to build resilience, patience and become truly selfless. Kudos to all the Mum’s and Dad’s!
Week 5 reflection- The 1950’s Housewife
Isn’t it funny to look back on social norms from the past. In 1955, Housekeeping Monthly printed an article titled “The Good Wife’s Guide” with instructions on how a wife should act and how to treat her husband right. All are laughable steps but these are my favourites with my own reflection on each:
3.) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.Right, because God forbid our husbands see us without a face full of makeup! I was wondering why I hadn’t found a man yet, clearly time for me to stock up my ribbon collection….
4.) Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.How can one be more interesting when all I am allowed to do is slave away at home and seem pleased about it?
7.) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.Anyone who has seen a child before knows that they are messy little critters who take 2 seconds to find something else to put in their mouth or tip on their head. I think a better solution would be to get a cage for the children where they sit and patiently wait for their father to get home.
9.) Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him.The chances are you most likely are happy to see your spouse but the limitations on this depends what else has happened that day.
10.) You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.If I broke my arm that day I would not bring it up or bother him with it until he asked as I know my place 😊
16.) Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.Not only is there immense pressure on how I look, how clean the house and kids are but now I have to practice or change my voice? What if I had a cold, should I just not speak that day?
The 1950’s housewife was known for self-medicating during the day with Valium and alcohol. Lady, if I had to pretend I was content waiting on a man hand and foot and stuck inside all day cleaning with no other purpose in life I’d be drowning my sorrows too!
Week 6 – Domestic Violence from a Child’s Perspective
Domestic Violence (DV) is something that can be happening without anyone outside the family knowing as it usually occurs behind closed doors. Obviously, the effects this has on the mother, who is more often the one being abused, is devastating. It is important to note though that even being witness to this abuse can have detrimental effects. Children who are exposed to DV see and hear things no child should ever experience.
This YouTube video titled “Monsters in the Closet” describes domestic violence from a child’s point of view. The innocent voice of a little girl explains that “she struggles to separate her nightmares from reality because there is very little difference.” The girl also speaks about her Mother’s fear and the fact that “when she locks the door at night, she’s not keeping danger out, she’s keeping it in!”
Adults often perhaps like to think that the effects of domestic violence at home will not affect the kids as they won’t be able to comprehend what is going on. This is far from the truth. According to the Australian Government “children witnessing or exposed to domestic violence has been increasingly recognised as a form of child abuse” (AIC, 2011.) There are many impacts that domestic violence can have on children including psychological, behavioural, socioeconomic, health and unfortunately it also increases the risk of re-victimisation or even perpetration. In the book “Stop Hitting Mum!” children express their views on domestic violence in words and drawings. In the unmistakable scribble of a child, the words "My Mum" appear above the sketch of a woman, eyes shut, being struck by a man with bulging eyes and a dark frown.
Gay and lesbian relationships have always been around but only more recently they have been portrayed in media more. This has also lead to the well-known acronym of the LGBT community (referring to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals) and the support and acceptance of this community. The television series “The L Word” is an example of just one of these media presentation of a group of lesbian friends, their families and relationships.
In this television series, the complex and intertwined relationships of the lesbian community is depicted in a chart kept by one of the main characters, Alice, about the “hook-ups” of her and her lesbian friends. Main character names are in pink, other women in purple and men in green. It is quite the tangled web/love affair!
Even with the increasing awareness and ongoing acceptance of the LGBT community, same sex marriage is not legal all around the world. The map below presents which countries gay marriage is legalised. The same sex marriage vote in Australia will be going through this month in the form of a postal voting system. It has caused quite the stir on social media but I am very excited to have the opportunity to voice support for the rights of my gay and lesbian friends!
Week 8- The Valium Housewife
The 1950s housewife has been covered in the reflection from week 5. What needs to be talked to more is their habit of self-medicating with Valium and alcohol. It is no surprise that these house bound, chore slaved women turned to drugs to get through the days. The ad below is a parody of why women in the 1950’s might have chosen this pathway by highlighting the use of “sweet, refreshing Valium…when denial is the best alternative.”
But this trend did not stay in the 1950’s. For many women, life can be very stressful with so much pressure to juggle a career and the children and look after their husband and run the household. Some women secretly rely on alcohol or other substances to get through their days. This can begin as a slippery slope of having a glass of wine each night to reward getting through the stress of the day to having several martinis during the day, then a bottle of wine during dinner and another to help with the clean-up process at night. Here is one woman’s story of this struggle as presented on the “Today Show.”
This woman, Brenda Wilhelmson, also wrote blog entries during her recovery from alcoholism and printed them in a book titled “Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife.” (shown below)
Brenda discusses the idea of feeling so isolated as a young stay at home Mum and needing to numb this feeling. I think for every young Mother there are going to be times where everything feels too much, too overwhelming and like you are the only person in it but keeping friendships and even joining a Mother’s group could be a lifesaver against turning to substance abuse.
Week 9- Beauty is Pain
The pressure for perfection that young girls face from society is tremendous. Above is a billboard by Victoria Secret which sparked a lot of controversy about the unrealistic expectations for women and the “perfect body” being tanned, super slim, having a flat stomach, tiny waist, pushed up boobs and legs that go for miles. The “perfect body” has become one of the most debatable topics in social media, television, and modelling over the years.
There have been links made in research between constantly seeing perfected models and young girls developing eating disorders because of this burden to look like that. Malnourishment is now seen as sexy, like thigh gap and sharp collar bones. Girls are literally starving themselves pretty!
On Instagram there are many pro-anorexic accounts with hashtags like #thinspo, #thinspiration, #ribsandhipbones and #ana which encourage other girls to starve themselves or purge after eating. This kind of online influence can be very dangerous as friends and family may not know of their loved one looking at these influences until it is too late. There are also many pro thin body slogans such as “Hunger hurts but starving works”(shown below), “skip dinner and wake up thinner” and “pretty girls can see their bones.”
Amy Ellis, is the author of the novel “Thinspo.” In this book, Amy tells the story of a girl named Jenni who writes a pro-ana (pro anorexic) blog, detailing her weight loss. Her best friend finds this blog and so begins the complicated fight between friends and family who tell those with an eating disorder to "just eat" as they do not understand it as a mental illness.
There is not just shaming of being overweight, but also of being too thin now. When will we ever win!? I think the most important thing to think about is what is a healthy size for you and what makes you feel good, no-one else should have a say.
Week 10- The Stolen Generation
Australia has a shameful history of mistreating the Indigenous and Torres Strait Islander people who originally lived on the land prior to colonisation. Up until 1970, an estimated 50,000 children were taken from their families and communities and forcibly assimilated into white society. These children are referred to as the “stolen generation.” The ongoing suffering including isolation, lack of identity, no family or community bonds extends further than just those directly removed. The negative psychological effects have continued throughout generations.
Below is a poem by David Keig titled “Stolen Generation” that talks of his personal experience of being taken from his family. The concluding statement of his poem basically highlights that for all the pain and suffering, at the very least the Aboriginal people deserve to be apologised to.
They took me from my mother But I didn’t even know I was just a few months old And she knew not where I’d go She was a big black woman I don’t know about my dad Its now I have my grandchildren That I’m starting to feel sad I have blue eyes and had blonde hair But it’s now greying gradually I couldn’t say I was an Abo Or they’ take the brush to me Scrub away your blackness Said the nuns in the Church school Religion’s here to save you But you must obey our rules Rule one – you just be grateful You’re in white society Rule two – you must be silent And accept humility I scrubbed and scrubbed my body Till I couldn’t scrub no more The scrubbing didn’t make me white Just made my skin red raw I was made to feel ashamed you see Of being just what I am And those bastards in the priest house Were even crueller than Those who’d broke a family And split us up at birth That’s why they should say sorry For all that they are worth.
Assimilation policies focused on removing children who were considered more “adaptable” to white society. Half-caste children (Aboriginal children with a lighter skin colour) were particularly vulnerable as they were considered easier to “blend in.” Once these children were removed they were adopted by white families but many were placed into institutions with very poor living conditions and high rates of child neglect and maltreatment. Isn’t it ridiculous to think these poor children were removed from perfectly capable and loving families and taught to reject their heritage purely due to their skin colour?
Week 11- Women’s Sexuality in Magazines
From makeup tutorials to sex tips, magazines provide all the superficial encouragement a girl could ask for but very limited support relating to self-love or body positivity. A fair majority of articles in magazines like Cleo and Cosmopolitan are giving women pointers on how to please their man, how to look good for their man, how to give their man a great blowjob. This is a disgustingly sexist angle, firstly that these men deserve all this effort and also that all of this is just expected of women. It is portrayed that happiness can only be achieved from having and pleasing a man!?
Let’s take a moment to unpack this Cosmopolitan cover that lists the main articles as:
The sex moves that brings you closer
I feel as though talking with your partner and just being a part of their life brings you closer, but I suppose sex does literally bring you closer!? I’m sure that’s not what they are referring to though…
Why guys pull away
Men, like women are very complicated creatures and everyone has their own emotions attached to stress, life changes or just things that are happening in their life. I think it unfair to over simplify the reasons why a man might be pulling away to just a small list published in a magazine. What might be a more constructive idea is asking the guy himself.
The sexiest thing you can do on a date
Step 1- turn up to said date. Step 2- exist and enjoy each others awesomeness. Step 3- know that each date is different and there are no rules.
The money, the man, the baby- get what you want
What if you are not interested in money, a man or a baby?
How to talk dirty
Nothing is sexier in bed than reading a script. Be sure to rehearse your dirty talking like you would a speech, read it to your family and friends and record yourself saying it for good measure! (kidding)
Naturally gorgeous sexy hair and pretty makeup
I myself got very confused with this analogy of being natural but also having to put in effort creating sexy hair and putting on makeup.
I wonder if men get these special tips in their magazines all about how to make the opposite sex happy? I feel like there needs to be tips on how to make yourself happy first and again, not all men are manufactured the same and therefore limiting your scope to just these 10 simple steps may not actually be what all men enjoy.
This image below was posted on Reddit portraying a satirical version of the September 2015 cover of Women’s Health UK. I particularly enjoyed the fictional article titled “Build a sand castle around his c*ck and other weird f*cking sex tips you would never seriously attempt. All for HIS pleasure!” Bringing sand in the bed is bound to be a fun time that will stick around for months to come (lingering all through the sheets and on the floor!)
A woman's vagina can provide her with both extreme pleasure and pain. Such a versatile organ that is still thought to be quite a mystery due to the male body being considered "normal" and therefore studied much more. Since the discovery of the clitoris in the mid 15th century there was still a belief that women's vaginas were used for childbirth only and that sexual pleasure was only for men. The 2011 movie, Hysteria, sheds light on this idea with a comedic twist. The movie is set in 1880 and is about the invention of the vibrator. Basically, Dr Dalrymple's job is to relieve female frustrations with pelvic stimulation.
=
The movie title refers to the previous medical diagnosis of "female hysteria" which basically meant that women were going crazy, some women were locked away in mental asylum's for this when basically it could be deemed that they were just sexually deprived... The idea of massaging the pelvis was to release the inner demons that were causing the women to have any list of symptoms that medical professionals considered not normal (this included anything from irritability to being excited.) Obviously this was causing women to have orgasms but these were not recognised as this yet and were referred to as "paroxysmal convulsions." Isn't it hilarious to think women were paying a Doctor to give them an orgasm!? In the end the Doctor gets carpel tunnel in his wrist from stimulating women all day which leads to the invention of a power operated device to get the job done a.k.a the vibrator is born!
Week 3- Women in Advertisements and Media and the pressure to be flawless... and pore less.The “ideal” female body that is portrayed in the media is unattainable, not to mention, unrealistic and dangerous!
There is so much pressure for women to be perfect now that it has lead to an extreme prevalence of body dissatisfaction as well as eating disorders associated with not feeling thin enough. This pressure also applies to men to be burly and ripped but for women it is so much more.
What is considered beautiful has changed so much over the years, originally being curvy with no makeup and natural hair was seen in advertisements. Also eyebrows were just left as is, not drawn in or manicured in any way. Now to be “beautiful” we are expected to have long shiny hair (that is always styled), perfectly manicured nails, huge (usually fake) boobs, a flat stomach, toned legs and arms, soft tanned skin, no hair ANYWHERE, white teeth, perfect eyebrows, full (usually fake) lips, long (usually fake) lashes, no wrinkles, and a pore less complexion. How is one ever to achieve this goal of having no pores!?
To reach such a level of perfection we would have to spend thousands of money on cosmetic surgery and even then, there would be features that still needed work because all the pictures we see in magazines and advertisements are so heavily edited that the women are basically unrecognisable. The link below shows an example of how a model (who is already beautiful) is made to look thinner, taller, with longer hair and airbrushed skin.
Body Evolution- Model Before and After Editing
Not only do women feel this pressure right through adolescence and there 20’s, they are also expected to “pop straight back” after having kids. In reality, this requires months of intense training and even then, the skin is not as tight as it once was…because it has been stretched to grow another human under!
Week 4- Having a Baby (Expectation vs Reality)
Unfortunately for some new Mums, having a baby is the biggest culture shock in the world. This is especially the case when the media or even their friends and family portray this new stage in life as “all fun and games” and “smooth sailing.”
I started working as a Nanny 18 months ago and I feel like it has been the most challenging job of life so far but the best thing ever to prepare me for my own children. I was not prepared for constant crying and up until the age of 2 you rarely know why said child is upset. I can now share with other Mum’s the idea of never doing anything in private, I have 2 little boys who sit front row seat when I go to the toilet. There is no such thing as drinking a hot cup of coffee or eating a hot meal. Motherhood, or in my case “Nanny-hood,” is rewarding and oh god do I love those kids but it is by no means easy. I really don’t think stay at home Mum’s get enough credit for what they do!
I love this picture of dressing a baby to be resemblant of wrestling a crocodile! Even once you have successfully completed the act of dressing, this outfit gets soiled within 10 minutes of is later found floating in the toilet with a naked toddler on the loose. No task can be done quickly and if you want to leave the house you better start getting ready hours in advance and expect every hiccup along the way! Also give up on ever looking well presented with perfect makeup and clean clothes…
Some Mum’s are lucky and have children who sleep in their own bed through the night from early on. Baby Sam, who I look after is 18 months old and still does not sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. His Mum has resorted to sleeping in a single bed with him and having the same broken sleep as he does because although she expected him to sleep in his own bed, this was just not the reality and sometimes you just do what you must to survive. Sometimes his brother, Henry, ends up in the bed too. Three in the bed is quite the squishy puzzle! At the end of the day, of course having kids is worth it, but I think there are many times that your patience and sanity are tested. I like to think of it as the best way to build resilience, patience and become truly selfless. Kudos to all the Mum’s and Dad’s!
Week 5 reflection- The 1950’s Housewife
Isn’t it funny to look back on social norms from the past. In 1955, Housekeeping Monthly printed an article titled “The Good Wife’s Guide” with instructions on how a wife should act and how to treat her husband right. All are laughable steps but these are my favourites with my own reflection on each:
3.) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.Right, because God forbid our husbands see us without a face full of makeup! I was wondering why I hadn’t found a man yet, clearly time for me to stock up my ribbon collection….
4.) Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.How can one be more interesting when all I am allowed to do is slave away at home and seem pleased about it?
7.) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.Anyone who has seen a child before knows that they are messy little critters who take 2 seconds to find something else to put in their mouth or tip on their head. I think a better solution would be to get a cage for the children where they sit and patiently wait for their father to get home.
9.) Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him.The chances are you most likely are happy to see your spouse but the limitations on this depends what else has happened that day.
10.) You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.If I broke my arm that day I would not bring it up or bother him with it until he asked as I know my place 😊
16.) Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.Not only is there immense pressure on how I look, how clean the house and kids are but now I have to practice or change my voice? What if I had a cold, should I just not speak that day?
The 1950’s housewife was known for self-medicating during the day with Valium and alcohol. Lady, if I had to pretend I was content waiting on a man hand and foot and stuck inside all day cleaning with no other purpose in life I’d be drowning my sorrows too!
Week 6 – Domestic Violence from a Child’s Perspective
Domestic Violence (DV) is something that can be happening without anyone outside the family knowing as it usually occurs behind closed doors. Obviously, the effects this has on the mother, who is more often the one being abused, is devastating. It is important to note though that even being witness to this abuse can have detrimental effects. Children who are exposed to DV see and hear things no child should ever experience.
Domestic Violence from a Child's Perspective
This YouTube video titled “Monsters in the Closet” describes domestic violence from a child’s point of view. The innocent voice of a little girl explains that “she struggles to separate her nightmares from reality because there is very little difference.” The girl also speaks about her Mother’s fear and the fact that “when she locks the door at night, she’s not keeping danger out, she’s keeping it in!”
Adults often perhaps like to think that the effects of domestic violence at home will not affect the kids as they won’t be able to comprehend what is going on. This is far from the truth. According to the Australian Government “children witnessing or exposed to domestic violence has been increasingly recognised as a form of child abuse” (AIC, 2011.) There are many impacts that domestic violence can have on children including psychological, behavioural, socioeconomic, health and unfortunately it also increases the risk of re-victimisation or even perpetration. In the book “Stop Hitting Mum!” children express their views on domestic violence in words and drawings. In the unmistakable scribble of a child, the words "My Mum" appear above the sketch of a woman, eyes shut, being struck by a man with bulging eyes and a dark frown.
We need everyone to bring domestic violence into the light.
AIC, 2011, Children’s Exposure to Domestic Violence, accessed on 31st August 2017, from http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/current%20series/tandi/401-420/tandi419.html
Week 7- Women Who Love Other Women
Gay and lesbian relationships have always been around but only more recently they have been portrayed in media more. This has also lead to the well-known acronym of the LGBT community (referring to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals) and the support and acceptance of this community. The television series “The L Word” is an example of just one of these media presentation of a group of lesbian friends, their families and relationships.
In this television series, the complex and intertwined relationships of the lesbian community is depicted in a chart kept by one of the main characters, Alice, about the “hook-ups” of her and her lesbian friends. Main character names are in pink, other women in purple and men in green. It is quite the tangled web/love affair!
Even with the increasing awareness and ongoing acceptance of the LGBT community, same sex marriage is not legal all around the world. The map below presents which countries gay marriage is legalised. The same sex marriage vote in Australia will be going through this month in the form of a postal voting system. It has caused quite the stir on social media but I am very excited to have the opportunity to voice support for the rights of my gay and lesbian friends!
Week 8- The Valium Housewife
The 1950s housewife has been covered in the reflection from week 5. What needs to be talked to more is their habit of self-medicating with Valium and alcohol. It is no surprise that these house bound, chore slaved women turned to drugs to get through the days. The ad below is a parody of why women in the 1950’s might have chosen this pathway by highlighting the use of “sweet, refreshing Valium…when denial is the best alternative.”
But this trend did not stay in the 1950’s. For many women, life can be very stressful with so much pressure to juggle a career and the children and look after their husband and run the household. Some women secretly rely on alcohol or other substances to get through their days. This can begin as a slippery slope of having a glass of wine each night to reward getting through the stress of the day to having several martinis during the day, then a bottle of wine during dinner and another to help with the clean-up process at night. Here is one woman’s story of this struggle as presented on the “Today Show.”
Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife
This woman, Brenda Wilhelmson, also wrote blog entries during her recovery from alcoholism and printed them in a book titled “Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife.” (shown below)
Brenda discusses the idea of feeling so isolated as a young stay at home Mum and needing to numb this feeling. I think for every young Mother there are going to be times where everything feels too much, too overwhelming and like you are the only person in it but keeping friendships and even joining a Mother’s group could be a lifesaver against turning to substance abuse.
Week 9- Beauty is Pain
The pressure for perfection that young girls face from society is tremendous. Above is a billboard by Victoria Secret which sparked a lot of controversy about the unrealistic expectations for women and the “perfect body” being tanned, super slim, having a flat stomach, tiny waist, pushed up boobs and legs that go for miles. The “perfect body” has become one of the most debatable topics in social media, television, and modelling over the years.
There have been links made in research between constantly seeing perfected models and young girls developing eating disorders because of this burden to look like that. Malnourishment is now seen as sexy, like thigh gap and sharp collar bones. Girls are literally starving themselves pretty!
On Instagram there are many pro-anorexic accounts with hashtags like #thinspo, #thinspiration, #ribsandhipbones and #ana which encourage other girls to starve themselves or purge after eating. This kind of online influence can be very dangerous as friends and family may not know of their loved one looking at these influences until it is too late. There are also many pro thin body slogans such as “Hunger hurts but starving works”(shown below), “skip dinner and wake up thinner” and “pretty girls can see their bones.”
Amy Ellis, is the author of the novel “Thinspo.” In this book, Amy tells the story of a girl named Jenni who writes a pro-ana (pro anorexic) blog, detailing her weight loss. Her best friend finds this blog and so begins the complicated fight between friends and family who tell those with an eating disorder to "just eat" as they do not understand it as a mental illness.
There is not just shaming of being overweight, but also of being too thin now. When will we ever win!? I think the most important thing to think about is what is a healthy size for you and what makes you feel good, no-one else should have a say.
Week 10- The Stolen Generation
Australia has a shameful history of mistreating the Indigenous and Torres Strait Islander people who originally lived on the land prior to colonisation. Up until 1970, an estimated 50,000 children were taken from their families and communities and forcibly assimilated into white society. These children are referred to as the “stolen generation.” The ongoing suffering including isolation, lack of identity, no family or community bonds extends further than just those directly removed. The negative psychological effects have continued throughout generations.
Below is a poem by David Keig titled “Stolen Generation” that talks of his personal experience of being taken from his family. The concluding statement of his poem basically highlights that for all the pain and suffering, at the very least the Aboriginal people deserve to be apologised to.
They took me from my mother
But I didn’t even know
I was just a few months old
And she knew not where I’d go
She was a big black woman
I don’t know about my dad
Its now I have my grandchildren
That I’m starting to feel sad
I have blue eyes and had blonde hair
But it’s now greying gradually
I couldn’t say I was an Abo
Or they’ take the brush to me
Scrub away your blackness
Said the nuns in the Church school
Religion’s here to save you
But you must obey our rules
Rule one – you just be grateful
You’re in white society
Rule two – you must be silent
And accept humility
I scrubbed and scrubbed my body
Till I couldn’t scrub no more
The scrubbing didn’t make me white
Just made my skin red raw
I was made to feel ashamed you see
Of being just what I am
And those bastards in the priest house
Were even crueller than
Those who’d broke a family
And split us up at birth
That’s why they should say sorry
For all that they are worth.
Assimilation policies focused on removing children who were considered more “adaptable” to white society. Half-caste children (Aboriginal children with a lighter skin colour) were particularly vulnerable as they were considered easier to “blend in.” Once these children were removed they were adopted by white families but many were placed into institutions with very poor living conditions and high rates of child neglect and maltreatment. Isn’t it ridiculous to think these poor children were removed from perfectly capable and loving families and taught to reject their heritage purely due to their skin colour?
Week 11- Women’s Sexuality in Magazines
From makeup tutorials to sex tips, magazines provide all the superficial encouragement a girl could ask for but very limited support relating to self-love or body positivity. A fair majority of articles in magazines like Cleo and Cosmopolitan are giving women pointers on how to please their man, how to look good for their man, how to give their man a great blowjob. This is a disgustingly sexist angle, firstly that these men deserve all this effort and also that all of this is just expected of women. It is portrayed that happiness can only be achieved from having and pleasing a man!?
Let’s take a moment to unpack this Cosmopolitan cover that lists the main articles as:
- The sex moves that brings you closer
I feel as though talking with your partner and just being a part of their life brings you closer, but I suppose sex does literally bring you closer!? I’m sure that’s not what they are referring to though…- Why guys pull away
Men, like women are very complicated creatures and everyone has their own emotions attached to stress, life changes or just things that are happening in their life. I think it unfair to over simplify the reasons why a man might be pulling away to just a small list published in a magazine. What might be a more constructive idea is asking the guy himself.- The sexiest thing you can do on a date
Step 1- turn up to said date. Step 2- exist and enjoy each others awesomeness. Step 3- know that each date is different and there are no rules.- The money, the man, the baby- get what you want
What if you are not interested in money, a man or a baby?- How to talk dirty
Nothing is sexier in bed than reading a script. Be sure to rehearse your dirty talking like you would a speech, read it to your family and friends and record yourself saying it for good measure! (kidding)- Naturally gorgeous sexy hair and pretty makeup
I myself got very confused with this analogy of being natural but also having to put in effort creating sexy hair and putting on makeup.I wonder if men get these special tips in their magazines all about how to make the opposite sex happy? I feel like there needs to be tips on how to make yourself happy first and again, not all men are manufactured the same and therefore limiting your scope to just these 10 simple steps may not actually be what all men enjoy.
This image below was posted on Reddit portraying a satirical version of the September 2015 cover of Women’s Health UK. I particularly enjoyed the fictional article titled “Build a sand castle around his c*ck and other weird f*cking sex tips you would never seriously attempt. All for HIS pleasure!” Bringing sand in the bed is bound to be a fun time that will stick around for months to come (lingering all through the sheets and on the floor!)